It's Almost Time

Well, are you ever really ready?

I'd like to know who can actually define the point when someone is ready to do something. I am a huge believer in taking that first step to find out if there is support under you. That's faith my friends. Faith. 

I am so grateful that God has allowed me the opportunity to co-lead a team to France. Things happen in life that you never imagine or expect. It's an adventure and I thank you all for being part of the process. So yea, we head out next week all in the name of Jesus. God = Love so...all in the name of Love! We have spent three months preparing for this. So much has happened. What has happened in your life in the past three months? Are you still the same person? Has life burdened you? Has hope filtered into your soul? May this bring light into your bright days and turn dark nights into dawn. 

When I was little, I remember going on a field trip with my Girl Scout troop. We went to New York City to visit Ellis Island and the Statue of Liberty. I remember I could not wait! Thoughts would run through my head about going to the city without my parents and how I must be growing up. One of my favorite things about going on field trips was that my mom would take me to go get a bagged lunch at Blimpie's. Oh my goodness. I loved Blimpie's. "What do you mean I get to pick out whatever I want to put on my sandwich?! And chips?!" Yes ma'am... So I had my bag lunch ready to go, kissed my Momma goodbye, and had fun with my friends on the ride into the city. Camera? Check. Spending money? Check. (Thanks Mom.) An unusual amount of adrenaline? Check. Field trips are awesome and you know it. 

We arrived at Lady Liberty, tickets in hand, and made our way up the tiny stair case. Ok, one thing I have to say is that this woman is MASSIVE. Her big toe alone was larger than life. So, i'm taking each step with great enthusiasm. Until I start to think about how high I must actually be getting. With each step up this statue seems less and less interesting to me. After all, who comes to this thing to see the inside of it. All I see are people's feet and tons of metal and iron and copper. NOT interested. The stairs are the winding type which doesn't help anything. I think there has to be a million stairs up. Which my child mind begins to realize...I think this means I have to do all of this again. Except downward. I start to reconsider why I decided to come on this trip anyway. Who actually enjoys Girl Scouts? This is awful and all I want is my Blimpie sandwich. 

I finally get to the top after who knows how long. Everyone stops and is looking out of the windows of the top of Lady Liberty's Crown. I am not impressed. There is nothing in all of creation that is going to make me enjoy taking a look at how far I would have to fall before I die. I am not a bird. I don't belong up here in this confined space to look at clouds and all the tiny ant sized people who are safe and SANE on the ground. It was time to go back down. You know I did it because I'm sitting here at this computer, alive to tell about it years later. However, the fun part was just ahead of me......yeah right. I tried my best to walk down those stairs but they were SO steep! Who makes these things?! I could not take it anymore. I turned myself around in this narrow and steep stair-- STEP, and put my hands on the steps and started crawling down those stairs like nobodies business. And it wasn't. I was making sure Nickie was getting down to the bottom of this New York icon safe and sound and if that required crawling, so be it. 

Some people laughed and so did I, eating my Blimpie's and chips and waiting to see my Momma and tell her I owned that statue and ain't nobody got nothin' on me. Not height, nor depth, nor width could hold me down. I went all the way to the top and all the way to the bottom and I WAS ALIVE! I was clearly not ready and I am glad that no one told me that. I needed that experience. Fear was overcome!

Years later I arrived here in Hawaii and we went to the southernmost point in the United States. A 45-65 foot drop to the water, depending on the swell. You know I stared at that cliff for a good 20 minutes...then took off running. That cliff jump was the best, most freeing, exciting field trip of my life. So far. 

I'm heading off to France in 6 days. I'm staring at this field trip. I may or may not be ready in people's eyes but guess what? I've climbed to the top and bottom of the Statue of Liberty, jumped off crazy cliffs, and I will be landing in France, hitting the ground running. All with the help and grace of God. Because, "I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord." Vive la France! Thank you God!

By the way, before writing this, I asked the Holy Spirit to help me write. I wanted to write about my upcoming outreach mission to France. He led me to write about that Girl Scout trip. I had no idea why or where it was going. A gentle nudge came about half way through and I hear a question, "Who gave the Statue of Liberty to America?" FRANCE. 

Only God.  

Can You Feel It In Your Bones?

I feel like doing this as a journal entry. So if you're a bit nosey, I think you'll like it.

I have been really blessed with where I am in life. Sometimes I think, "What have I done to deserve this?" And I remember that I haven't done anything to do it. It's all been Jesus and his goodness towards me. How God do you love me so much? It's crazy. 
This past weekend we had a huge celebration party. But let me build up why I had my mind blown by a group of 35 radical people. 

Coming to staff YWAM was an easy choice to make. I knew that seeing lives changed and helping communities in dire need is a no brainer. Who wouldn't want to help others? Thank you God for making me realize that it is not just about me. I've definitely learned to love more than I ever have before. My eyes see things in a different way and I never want to go back. I take the things I have as valuable but somehow always seem to want to give my stuff away. Which can honestly be annoying, haha. It's a good problem to have ;) 

I met our new students on January 3rd and my life has never been the same. I miss and will always love our Ohana (extended family) from All Nations All Generations DTS 2012 that I did last January and God, I pray that you would let me be with them once again. Those friendships are so real to me. They are attached to memories of finding out Your goodness through and with those people. So, thanks for that too. But, this new group holds a different place which I guess happens with every person you meet. Some blaze trails through your heart and others just footsteps that are eventually washed out with the rain. I think...I know this group is leaving it's lasting impression on my life. 

How can someone be changed so much and yet the day to day seems so ordinary? I guess my prayers of "God, have your way in my life today" are answered by You. 

So day in and day out, I pour my love, my strength, my friendship, and everything else that You have given to me, into our students. I hope I do that with everyone I am friends with. But there are challenges and days I fail miserably. Those days stink. A lot. But there's always grace! Thank God. The people I'm surrounded with are also very gracious. and FUN! Oh, I definitely haven't had this much fun all at once since who knows when. I'm always smiling, if not on the outside then definitely on the inside. I tend to think too much but looking at it now...processing in this very moment...I think of all the good things that take place in my day. I love it most when I burst out laughing because of how blown away I am by God or by something hilarious one of my new family members have said. I love that. I love smiling. Smiling's my favorite. 

So long story short, in the month of February I was absolutely overwhelmed by love. Valentine's Day is my favorite. I love red. I love hearts. I love celebrations. I love LOVE. Loving, being loved. It's too good not to have a reason to show people how much they mean to you besides at their funeral (you know?!). I woke up on Valentine's Day to a HUGE red heart pillow with red balloons strung up across the room and at least 100 hearts strung up on my bed with different reasons why I am loved (a few cheesy pick-up lines were in there too, haha) and a beautiful card with a little eiffel tower, beret wearing baguette, saying he loves me. J'adore my roommates. Thennnn I got a huge box of amazing goodiessssssss!!! Including but not limited to dark chocolate covered marshmallows, an iphone case, makeup, granola (w/chocolate), a handmade bracelet, a journal made by a precious girl rescued out of human trafficking, and SO much more. I love my pastor's wife: Lilly Conforti and my beautiful friends Emily Conforti and Maggie Conforti! Then of course my momma and Broseph sent me a package from home filled with things to share with my roommates and classmates! My mom loves to share too ;) Well, that was just the beginning. I had the world's best angel (secret valentine) who made me a banner that I will put pictures up later. Everyday for a whole week I was blessed beyond measure by Kristin Bakke. 

Ok enough of the lovin, haha. So, after our early mornings and late nights for this school, our students surprised us with an honoring party. They washed our feet (like Jesus!) and prayed blessings over us. I was so surprised and impressed and overall really touched by the immense love I felt. I think I realized then that they've been hard at work at blazing a trail in my heart to a place that they will never leave. And i've loved every minute. I thank you God for my life...and my heart. May I never get tired of Your surprises. May I always have your way done in my life. I feel it in my bones...